Trekkers V. Trekkies

Last fall I had an English class which required writing a blog at least twice a week. I wrote a blog on this topic for that class. Since I chose to write about humor, I decided to resurrect that piece; but I couldn’t remember my sign-in name or password.
So I rewrote the piece. During the middle of the night, I remembered what I had forgotten! (Yeah, I thought so, too.) I thought it was fair that since I rewrote the piece and then got to the other one, I could merge the two.

My brother liked watching the original Star Trek series. Being the little sister and having little say over what we watched, except for the Brady Bunch of course, I watched a lot of Star Trek. I actually learned to like Star Trek. I even went to the original Star Trek movie all by.

As the years passed, I started collecting and reading the many Star Trek books. When ST: The Next Generation (stupidest title in the world, right behind AfterMash) was broadcasted, I watched that as well. ST:TNG got better as the seasons past, and I liked the last one a lot, but it got so sentimental and stupid at the very end. The last episode, I needed lots of water to dilute all that sugar.

Of course, I watched Voyager, which I liked a lot, except for the last episode because it was soooooooooooooooooooooo predictable and about 110 minutes too long. I especially liked the theme music. I liked Deep Space 9 until they started getting into the Cardassian War and the shape shifters, and it just got really, really stupid. I liked the last episode of that. Again, I liked the theme music. I watched Enterprise the first season and thought it was okay, but then they got into the Zindi thing and knowing that “history” couldn’t change, I decided the whole thing was too stupid to watch and quit. I liked the theme music for about three weeks and then it really grated on my nerves. The second recording for the series sucked.

“I,” she said pausing dramatically, “am a Trekker. I am NOT a Trekkie. Please do not EVER call me a Trekkie. I am a Trekker.”

The Difference Between a Trekkie (Ies) and a Trekker (Ers)

Ies will not, positively will not, not ever, ever, ever, miss a first-run episode of any of the Star Trek shows.
Ers realize they can catch the missed episodes during reruns.

Ies are so intrigued by the shows that they lose themselves in the moment and have withdrawal symptoms when the show is over. Watching reruns of Happy Days helps.
Ers know it’s just a t.v. show.

Ies are convinced that the scientific advances shown on the shows will benefit mankind once they are installed within the next five years.
Ers know it’s just a t.v. show.

Ies can’t wait to finally get to see Vulcan, where Mr. Spock is from.
Ers know it’s not real and if Vulcan exists, the inhabitants are too smart to come to this planet while we’re still trying to blow each other up.

Ies will watch the same episode every single time it’s broadcasted, even though they already own all the episodes of every Start Trek spin-off on video and DVD.
Ers may have the same collection, but they watch other stuff on t.v. for variety’s sake.

Ies whip out their homemade communicators to warn the captain about impending disaster.
Ers aren’t quite that…um…dedicated.

Ies who believe they have warned the captain in time are surprised to see the episode end the same way it did the last time he saw it.
Ers, well…uh…the opportunity usually doesn’t present itself, plus they know it’s just a t.v. show.

Ies will debate if Kirk or Picard was the better captain, even if it means a fistfight and somebody’s glasses get broke.
Ers laugh at the Ies during their fights.

Ies are particularly sensitive about Kirk’s line deliveries, feeling that he emotes quite clearly and authentically.
Ers continue laughing at the Ies.

Ies believe that Kirk needs a “Bimbo of the Week” in order to be Manly.
Ers realize that a “Bimbo of the Week” to make an officer look Manly is an overused cliché in any television program.

Ies are a lot of fun to tease and torture by calling Kirk a wimp and Spock is all human.
Ers often have black eyes from teasing the Trekkies.

Ies watch the episodes frame by frame and then nitpick about the actions of the characters as they walk in and out of the shot.
Ers are aware that these people are actors.

Ies debate who was badder: the original Klingons who looked like they had a bad day in the makeup chair or the original Romulans who spent only half a day in the bad makeup chair.
Ers will debate, but there are better things to do after five minutes of intense snickering.

Ies will hold a seminar, as many as necessary, to discuss and decide if Data was supposed to be the ST:TNG’s version of Mr. Spock.
Ers will probably attend the seminars, but will make rude noises during the entire thing.

Ies love conventions and often plan their entire vacation/employment possibilities/entire life around going to Star Trek conventions. These are the same Trekkies who wrote to the developers and producers of the show, asking for a prop that really worked like a phaser and then was disappointed when they couldn't have one.
Ers like, and may love, conventions, and may schedule their vacations around one, and maybe not. Trekkers outgrew that phaser fantasy (just barely) when someone wrote back and said that shooting your little sister was a bad thing only Klingons did.

Ies like to dress up in their official Star Trek uniform, homemade or otherwise, and go about their daily business, and it's not Halloween.
Ers like to dress up, too, but they keep it in the realm of "I don't want to embarrass my children today." If the Trekkers' children are over 5, the children are embarrassed simply because they have parents. http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2010/01/20/the-final-frontier/

Ies MUST dress up for the conventions and then stay in character during the entire convention period.
Ers may dress up, but they won’t be slitting their wrists when they realize they can’t speak fluent Klingon and that the Klingon language has no “to be” verb in its lexicon.

Ies like to go to conventions and ask the stars very intense questions that require a lot of brain power on the actors' parts, not realizing that some of those actors have very little fluff upstairs these days and cannot answer the question because they are anticipating leaving these nuts soon.
Ers like to go to conventions and ask the starts interesting and perhaps intense questions, but takes the actors' ability to lie through their teeth as authentic, even if the actors may be anticipating leaving these nuts soon.

Ies like to ask the actors questions about motivation for a certain scene in a certain episode and what were they feeling and how did it make them feel and did they think they would ever feel that way again and if not how did that make them feel and what was it they were feeling while they were contemplating . . .
Ers like to ask the actors questions about their roles on the show and was there anything special they did to help them to "get into character."(If you ever saw William Shatner on SNL doing a Star Trek convention skit where he yelled at all the geeks, those sorts of moments really do happen at the conventions. I also have it on VERY good authority that Mr. Shatner should be named Mr. Full-of-Himself.) (Hey. I had a friend who went to a couple conventions and he said the skit was spot on.)

Ies like to talk like Mr. Scott, but they don't do well because they seem to have the impression they need to be inebriated at the same time, especially if they're teenagers.
Ers like to talk like Mr. Scott, but they don't do well because they seem to have the impression they need to be inebriated at the same time, especially if they're teenagers.(Some things are common to both groups, you know)

Ies like to go to convention and meet their heroes, without realizing their "heroes" are a lot older in person than on television.
Ers realize that their "heroes" are also actors who have bills to pay like ordinary people, and that's why Captain Picard can be in the X-Men movies.

Ies find it difficult to comprehend that the actors who attend the conventions are not as young as their characters in the programs.
Ers mourned the death of DeForrest Kelly, Dr. Leonard McCoy, and James Doohan, Mr. Scott, from the original series, and will continue to mourn the loss of the rest of the actors.

Ies like to wear the fake Spock ears, but often cannot explain what makes a Vulcan's ears superior to a human's.
Ers like to wear the fake Spock ears, assuming they have them in the first place, and maybe cannot explain what makes a Vulcan's ears superior to a human's, but then they ask someone and learn it has to do with the ala part of the ear and the ability to catch more sounds that way. (Ala? Look it up.)

Ies are hopeful that someday our world and perhaps the universe will be a place of peace and harmony.
Ers agree with the Ies sentiment.